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The diary of Gordon Brown aged 57½

Monday 22nd September :- Feeling nervous about the Labour Party conference tomorrow, the pressure is on and everybody expects me to deliver a knock out speech. I need to pull a rabbit out of the hat to save my job. Need a good nights sleep for my big day.



Tuesday 23rd September : Woke up feel nervous about my big speech and what I could say to get the party back onside. Had a little help from my wife and together we delivered the speech of my life - I had the hall in the palm of my hand. Oh, these are the days I have been waiting for. Onwards and upwards, the sky is the limit, let's turn the heat up on the Tories - bring it on. Oh I should sleep well tonight.



Wednesday 24th September : Woke up ready for my tour of the radio and TV stations, they will love me and I will have the platform of my life to turn around the voting public. Oh, on! Just found out that insiders at Number 10 have leaked Ruth Kelly's plans to leave the cabinet to spend time with her family - at 3am in a Manchester bar room.



I have now gone from the highs of ecstasy to the lows of abject failure, just when I had started the fight back yet again the rug is pulled from under me. I really do not know what to do now, do I leave Darling at the Treasury or take a firm hand and bring that 'novice' Miliband in to keep him quiet?

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